“These are the voyages of the Star Trek Enterprise”. Patrick Stewart’s boomingly beautiful voice always brings goosebumps to my skin, but never more so than when he did the voiceover for the intro to the Star Trek Enterprise TV series. That word, “voyage”, is a powerful one for me. I usually use “journey” to describe my life’s course, but “voyage” is a bit more descriptive…I think of a ship sailing steadily along the ocean, pushed by gentle breezes and then tossed about in a violent storm and then completely still, almost immobile, in a dead calm. That really does describe the myriad moments of my life, my voyage, my journey.
Again today, I looked back at a different journal, one that I haven’t written in since November 2006, long before I published my book, “Getting Out of B.E.D.”. I flipped through, reading about the torment that my eating disorder was putting me through and about the foods that I ate each day and times that I ate them and I think, “How could I ever have been such a slave to all that?” Yet, I was. It was one of those times that I had sleptwalked across the ship and dropped anchor and then woke up, looked around and thought, “Why the hell am I not moving?!” My voyage across the sea was halted as I tried to figure out how to get my life back on course and my ship moving again. Of course, when I finally realized that I was letting one of the crew (my inner critic) captain the ship instead of me, I hauled up the anchor and let the winds drive me towards other shores, namely a book about my voyage and a daily blog of my present moment thoughts and feelings.
What has your voyage looked like? Are you scared to look back? Do you spend too much time looking ahead or looking behind? Maybe the best way to stay on track is to stay here and now, in the present moment…honoring the feelings you feel today, noticing the thoughts you have today, journaling about today’s part of the voyage.
Peace, joy, and health.