The theme of many of these blog posts has been “fear”. As I continue to read Jenni Schaefer’s “Goodbye Ed, Hello Me”, it strikes me that Fear (with a capital “F”, as if it was a person) has such a tight grip on so many of us who struggle with disordered eating. For many years, Fear pretended to be my friend, but was actually slowly removing the joy, fun, and peace from my life. Fear of failure, fear of imperfection (there’s a big one!), fear of scrutiny, fear of being left behind while everyone else charged on ahead with their happy lives…each of these fears drained me of energy and contributed to my behavior, trapping me in B.E.D. It wasn’t until I started writing about how Fear (and Ed) had been dominating my life that I realized I wasn’t as fearful anymore. The very process of writing about my Fear was healing; Fear itself cowered and shrank significantly under the bright light of my own courage and strength (which was there all along).
If you’ve been reading my posts for a while, or if you’ve read my book, you know how much of a role music has played in my life. Yet again this morning, I was inspired by a song. The artist is Natalie Grant, a contemporary Christian singer whose song, “Let Go”, reminded me of the importance of continually saying “no” and letting go of Fear:
“We live in the future. We’ve got our regrets ’cause we don’t live in the present tense. It’s hectic in my mind. Gonna leave it behind ’cause I’m ready to let go, looking forward to ‘don’t know’. Forget about yesterday, get away, and live in the right now. Yeah, I’m ready to let go. I’m ready to follow anywhere the road bends; where it ends I don’t know. So let go.”
What role does Fear play in your life? What will it take for you to let go? Take a few moments today to consider these things and then “forget about yesterday, get away, and live in the right now”.
Peace, joy, and health.
PS–if you’re looking for a great book on how to let go of Fear (by embracing it, oddly enough!), check out Thom Rutledge’s book, “Embracing Fear”