Today I have a song by the group, “Point of Grace”, stuck in my head. The lyrics that are spinning around and around inside me are, “I used to wish that I could rewrite history, hide all the evidence of who I’ve been. But it’s the memory of the place You brought me from that keeps me on my knees even though I’m free. Heal the wound but leave a scar, a reminder of how merciful You are. I am broken, torn apart, take the pieces of this heart and heal the wound but leave a scar.” The lyrics remind me of my own journey towards recovery from binge-eating disorder. I think of the fact that only after I began my recovery in earnest did I attempt to reconnect with God and as soon as I surrendered control and allowed it, God began to heal me.
As I’ve said before in this blog, the healing process is complete (I don’t binge; I don’t restrict calories; I don’t allow my inner critic to rule me day in and day out) and yet, despite (or perhaps because of) the healing I am left with a prominent “scar” – residual worries about relapsing and concerns that my physical health goals could become obsessive at any time. The lyrics of this song, however, are a great example of how a change in perspective can change everything. Usually, I look at the scar of my former wounds and think, “I was wounded. I was a victim. I was out of control. I needed help.” Today I want to look at the scar of my former wounds and think, “By the grace of God I am healed.” Instead of thinking of what I was, I want to think of what I am. It takes the emphasis off of ME and MY problems and MY perceived lack of control and puts the emphasis on GOD and what GOD has done in my life and what my life looks like with GOD in control. This is a huge lesson for me to learn!
Are you living in the past? Is your identity still tied into things that are long resolved (or in the past but unresolvable)? What scars do you bear from life’s wounds and how do you think about them? Are you, like me, so focused on the scar itself that you’re overlooking the very fact that you’re healed?
I wish for all of us the ability to see the healing in our lives.
Peace, joy, and health,