Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…

What does your mirror reflect back at you? Do you have a love/hate relationship with mirrors like I once did? In my book, Getting Out of B.E.D., I talk about how much I feared and yet revered the mirror and all reflective surfaces. I felt compelled to look at myself, but terrified of what I would see.

I still occasionally find myself stealing glances at my profile (with my eyes focused squarely on my mid-section) in car windows, shop windows, the mirrored wall across the street from my house. It’s as if my inner critic says, “You better check what you look like…again…you might look fatter since you last checked.” I’ve often wondered why I had that particular obsession. I even agonized over how vain and selfish I was to spend so much time thinking about my appearance. Little did I know, those thoughts and feelings were the direct result of my inner critic, too. The voice inside somehow meant to protect me (from ridicule, in our fat-phobic society) and yet managed to only harm me by suggesting that I need to give in to the demands of a society that struggles with excess, obesity, and mindlessness and shuns limits, health at all sizes, and mindfulness.

The next time I look in a mirror I’m going to say, “Mirror, Mirror on the wall…I know I am beautiful…curves and all!”

Peace, joy, and health.


2 thoughts on “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…

  1. Anna says:

    Haha, I have those thoughts all the time (the inner-critic ones). Lately I’ve realized how absurd they are. For one, there’s no way I could be fatter than I was in the morning when I last looked in the mirror to get dressed. For another, so what if I don’t like something in the mirror? I can’t exactly change it in the moment; it will just drive me nuts. So, I’ve stopped checking as often.

    • getoutofbedonedayatatime says:

      Yes, the desire to check and recheck my image in reflective surfaces was difficult to overcome. I still find myself glancing in car windows and store windows. But I tell myself that what I see reflected back at me is filtered through 1) the distortions of the reflective surface; and 2) the warped perception in my inner mind. It has helped me rely on other measures like 1) my physical energy level on a given day; 2) the fit of my clothing (though that fluctuates with my menstrual cycle); and 3) my body’s cravings for certain foods.

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