Day 7 – The Twelve Days of Thanksgiving

Today is Day 7 of my 12 Days of Thanksgiving, but Day 6 of my head cold. Last night I was up most of the night coughing and am only now — after a hot shower, some OJ, and some medicine — feeling a bit like myself. This got me thinking about energy levels and the fact that my eating disorder robbed me of the energy, or will, to do a lot of things. I didn’t have the energy to reach out to friends. I didn’t have the energy to complete grad school (the first time around). I didn’t have the energy to devote to the problems that were arising in my marriage. I didn’t have the energy to cook healthy meals. I didn’t have the energy to sing, dance, write, or really do any of the things that had made my life meaningful at one point. Being stuck in B.E.D. cost me a lot.

So today, looking back from the side of recovery, I realize how thankful I am for the return of my energy. You see, I discovered through therapy that I was allowing my obsession with my weight and shape to take up too much space in my head. Once I stopped devoting all that space to constant thoughts of what to eat and how much, what I weigh and what that says about me, what I feel based on how I look in the mirror…once I stopped doing that, I had so much more energy to devote to other things. I slowly started reconnecting with friends and family (and thankfully, they welcomed me back — but that will be my next blog post). I found the courage to end my destructive marriage. I reconnected with my spiritual side (again, another blog post!). I began writing again. I began creating crafts and doing art projects again. I began participating in life again, all because I had the energy to do so.

Here’s hoping that on your journey towards recovery, you regain the energy that disordered eating has taken from you.

With gratitude,

Megan

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2 thoughts on “Day 7 – The Twelve Days of Thanksgiving

  1. Leslie Neshama says:

    I have a bipolar type illness and my energy waxes and wanes in sometimes violent waves. I think also, that my B.E.D. follows that flow. Thank you, Megan, for writing about how your eating dis-order robbed you of precious energy. You are brave and courageous, my dear.
    Life is, in many ways, an expression of our inner energies. Today I pray for peace and resilience. Those two things have a quiet energy. But for me, they would feel riotously good.
    I hope that soon your head cold will pass.
    Love to all~
    with all my heart,
    Leslie

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