This morning at the gym, I was captivated by a song playing over the stereo. It was Aloe Blacc’s “Wake Me Up”.
The lyrics are so moving and spoke to me today about the process of coming out of the darkness of disordered eating and moving into the light that is self-love.
The first verse begins, “Feeling my way through the darkness, Guided by a beating heart, I can’t tell where the journey will end, But I know where to start.” Later, it continues, “I tried carrying the weight of the world, But I only have two hands…”.
So often during my recovery, I woke up in “darkness” and knew I had to just put one foot in front of the other and start my journey. That journey towards getting out of B.E.D. was a long one, made more difficult by the sheer fact that each moment presented me with a choice: remain in B.E.D. or throw off the covers and get moving. I often felt like I had to carry “the weight of the world” in my own two hands. Yet, when I finally woke up and looked around me, I saw dozens of smiling faces and outstretched hands ready and waiting to assist. (And, of course, all along God carried me.)
So, to all those who feel hopeless, lost, or unsure of your footing as you head out on this journey through recovery from disordered eating, please know that you are not alone. None of us knows where the journey will end, but the journey will be enlightening.
Peace, joy, and health,