When Ed robs you of friends

It’s Monday morning and I just finished seeing a client. This individual, like many college students I work with, is struggling to feel respected and recognized by peers. It brought to my mind thoughts of my own struggle to make and keep friends when I was in the throes of my eating disorder.

That self-critical voice within me (“Ed” — Eating Disorder) never thought I was good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, quick-witted enough, articulate enough, talented enough…just never enough…to deserve being friends with people. The more I listened to that voice, the further I drifted away from people, eventually even drifting from my own family. One of the many tragedies of eating disorders is that, despite have common experiences with many people, each of us thinks we are completely alone.

You know, I thank God every day for the complete mess I made of my life (with the help of that inner critic). Seriously! That mess and chaos led me to the point where I realized enough was enough. That was the beginning of my journey towards healing and back to wholeness. Now I’m able to make acquaintances with ease, deepen existing friendships, and give (and receive!) love freely.

This morning, as I talked and listened to a new friend at the gym, I heard this voice within me say, “Meg, you’ve come a long way! You were always beautiful, articulate, smart, and talented, but now you recognize it, own it, and shine brightly.”

So, my best Monday morning advice is this: Find your inner light and let it shine!

Peace, joy, and health,

Megan

 

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