School delays and closures due to ice and snow; disrupted routines; traffic nightmares due to car-swallowing potholes and accidents; cancelled counseling sessions; clients who no-show for sessions and then want to reschedule immediately; unhealthy supervisors; frustrating interactions at church; unavailable friends…all of these things this winter have been what I will lovingly call “lessons in flexibility and patience”.
*sigh* Enough with the lessons, God. I get it: I need to dispense with my desire to do MY life in MY time. That doesn’t mean I should neglect my needs, but it does mean that maybe my needs are really wants. When I think I need structure at work, an easier commute, a no-stress church environment (does one even exist?), and consistency from co-workers and friends, maybe I really just want those things. They’re more comfortable to me, but they’re not needs. So…what do I really need?
Maybe what I need is inner peace. Maybe what I need to do is take more slow, deep breaths and exhale the tension of self-imposed pressures and timelines. Maybe I need to let go of this superwoman image that I’ve been clinging to since early adulthood. Maybe I need to continue to nurture my inner child by listening to her whims (like a sudden desire to swing high on the swings at a nearby playground!). Maybe I need to continue openly sharing my feelings instead of stuffing them down. Maybe I need to love more extravagantly, especially those who feel unloved or are on the margins of society. Maybe I need to pray more. Maybe I need to just accept that life is sometimes chaotic and that I am a beautiful mess.
Whatever my needs, I can be assured that life will continue to present me with opportunities to practice flexibility and patience. Whether I accept those lessons or not is up to me, but acceptance will certainly restore inner peace, which is definitely something I need.
Peace, joy, and health,