Good, Bad, and In Between

It’s later than I usually stay up. I find myself ruminating on negative thoughts and replaying “old tapes” in my mind: You’re not good enough. You’re a bad person. You don’t deserve joy or love. These thoughts are a remnant of my past, of a time when I looked at the world as black and white. I saw people, myself included, as “good” or “bad”. Actually, it was always easier for me to see others as good than to see myself as such. Whenever I did anything “wrong”, either by my own standards or society’s, I judged myself harshly: I must be a bad person, unworthy of anything good.

Several years ago, I heard a song by Amy Grant in which she sings, “There’s so much good in the worst of us, so much bad in the best of us. It never makes sense for any of us to criticize the rest of us. We’ll just find what we’re looking for. We’ll find it and so much more.” Those lyrics stuck with me. I summon them whenever I’m quick to judge others for their behavior, their words, their choices. They help me see the complex human beneath the surface.

And tonight, I realize I can apply the same to myself:  I’m not good or bad. I’m somewhere in between: a woman who makes many decisions every day, some healthy, some unhealthy, some that benefit me, but hurt others, and some that hurt me to benefit others. It’s easy to judge. It’s more difficult to keep in mind Amy Grant’s words. Whatever I and others look for will be found: some light, some dark, some wisdom, some foolishness, some love, some hatred, and a whole lot of “in between”.

Peace, joy, and health,

Megan

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2 thoughts on “Good, Bad, and In Between

  1. Aisling says:

    Hi Megan, Greetings from Ireland! I hope you are well, suffering from BED I have to thank you kindly for your posts and emails they provide more comfort than you will ever realise. Having spent 3 months last year as a resident in an ED clinic I was made aware of you and your fantastic book by my therapist. Whilst in there I read it and genuinely felt it was written about me by me if that makes sense! It’s insane the way the same thoughts and behaviours affect us all. Anyway the reason I mail us that I have been doing really well the last 6 months totally binge free…….until 3 weeks ago she re entered my life and had torn it apart once again. I would love to read your book again and get back to basics again would it be possible to give you card details to order a copy of what will be my bible from here on in? Thank you for taking the time to read this in sure you get so many mails daily it must be impossible to reply to them all! Take care,

    Kind regards Aisling

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    • getoutofbedonedayatatime says:

      Thanks so much for reaching out, Aisling. I’m grateful for your feedback and the timing of your generous praise of my book is eerie, as I had been floundering in negativity this morning. You can buy the book thru the link on the right side of the blog, or email me your contact info and I’ll make sure to send you a copy. Peace and blessings. –Megan

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