I’m sure you’ve noticed the recent increase in TV, internet, and radio ads promising a “new year, new you”…as long as you shell out big bucks for a patented weight loss program that tells you how much to eat, what to eat, and when…or as long as you buy the latest extreme exercise program designed to force you to mindlessly push through pain and physical distress. As someone who often made (and failed at) resolutions to lose weight or tone up, let me urge you to see these types of resolutions for what they are: one-way tickets to disconnection from your True Self. The True Self — that is, the divine spark in all of us — is not nurtured by losing weight or changing shape. Your True Self is nurtured through connection with self, others, the natural world, and God.
When I began my recovery from Binge-Eating Disorder in 2005, I didn’t understand the importance of connection. At that point, I thought I was just changing my behaviors. I was trying to binge less often, exercise less compulsively, and eat more regularly and less restrictively after a binge. I didn’t realize that the steps I took to change those behaviors involved increasing my connections — first to myself, by noticing the difference between emotional/spiritual hunger and physical hunger; then to others, by opening up about my struggles instead of hiding behind a veil of secrecy and shame; then to the natural world, by widening my view from the circumference of a dinner plate to the infinity of the universe; and finally to God, by reengaging in worship, prayer and other spiritual practices.
The more we connect with self, others, nature, and God, the more at peace we are. The more at peace we are, the less worried we become about the values of the world: thinness, lean muscles, or the ability to run a marathon. Sometimes, when we’re at peace, changes in body size or shape or ability do happen. But if they do, they happen at their own pace, not one designated by the diet and exercise industry.
So, as you consider changes to make in 2017, consider making a different kind of resolution: Resolve to be gentle with yourself. Resolve to be vulnerable with others. Resolve to engage with the natural world. Resolve to open yourself up to the goodness of God, Spirit, or a Higher Power. Choose connection.
Peace, joy, and health in 2017,